Posted in Music, Personal

Pains of a Newbie

Newbies in any career path will always be intimidated by those who are already succeeding (or on their way to success) in their career. Newbies will have a rough start, and they will experience loads of frustrations. Sometimes, it comes to a point in an aspirant’s life that they would want to quit. Some would actually do it, some would live with the frustrations, while some will bear in mind their frustrations but move forward in their career. I’d rather be the last kind of aspirant, but I will tell you this now: it’s hard to do that.

Earlier today, I recorded a cover of Jensen Gomez’s song All I Want from his solo album Umpisa. Okay, I’ve been fangirling over Jensen Gomez and Jensen and the Flips for the past few days. It has even come to the point of me using my dad’s credit card for purchasing Gomez’s Umpisa, Gomez’s song with Reese Lansangan called Maybe, and Jensen and the Flips’ Honeymoon and BTTR.

ANYWAY, so I uploaded my cover on SoundCloud and shared the link on my Facebook and Twitter accounts. I even tagged Jensen Gomez in my tweet. And guess what!!! HE LIKED MY TWEET! He said thanks, and I said thanks too. Hehe, kilig! Anyway, it was not the first time he favorited my tweets, but to get noticed and “recognized” because of a song cover I did was big for me. And that brought a wide smile on my face.

But before Gomez reacted to my tweets, I made this tweet, and I quote, “Wanting a music career with little skills in instruments, little followers, and no connections is beyond frustrating. Am I not good?” Why did I tweet this? Well, because it’s not often that someone checks out my SoundCloud, especially for my original songs. So I felt so bad about it, to the point that a depressive episode started in me. But then there came Jensen Gomez to save the day (thank you so much!). But then this came up:

Screen Shot 2017-10-11 at 8.16.02 PM
screen shot from my Ask.fm profile

 

I felt attacked, to be honest. It hurts so much to be strongly criticized by an anonymous person, especially that I cannot say that I have a music career. For someone who’s not out of tune (and, in fact, can sing well) to be told that their voice is sub par at best is somewhat an insult. I get it, I still have to learn and improve, but to tell me that outright is hurtful. Okay, my skills in playing instruments are not good, and I know that very well. Not much of a problem there. But this got me so bad: “you don’t have followers [because] it is extremely difficult to like you”. Um, I didn’t quite get that, for I did not know in what context that was taken from. But anyway, I was badly hurt.

My eyes were tearing up while there were strangers (visitors) in our living room, which was where I was. It was actually a good thing that I was using my laptop; at least I was able to “hide” my face in it. I immediately sent messages to my friends, containing the screen shot and a short message: self-esteem now at rock bottom.

Some of my friends told me to not mind comments like those, and I told them that I eventually will bear those in mind for my growth. But, I also told them that I should let myself validate the hurting feeling, because no one can simply brush off comments like those, especially if they seldomly get them. I seldomly get harsh criticism, and I’m a very sensitive being. So I got hurt…a lot.

Now that my day is almost over, looking back, I think this is a lesson for me. If I do want to have a music career, I should prepare myself for a lot of harsh criticism from people I don’t know. If I want to be successful in this path, I should expect a lot of “haters”. But despite all of those people who might give me stress, I will most likely have supporters, even if they’re my family and friends only. I guess I’ll just have to cling on to their support whenever I feel down because of those negative comments I receive.

Also, I should learn from those comments. Hey, those comments might spring out growth in my music, my career, my life, and so much more. So yeah, I should keep them in mind, but not in my heart.

That comment discouraged me for a while, but because of my friends’ reassuring words, I feel like I’m back on track. My self-esteem has been boosted a bit, and my faith in myself has been restored. Now, I’m refueled to go ride and drive on this road I chose. I will not stop singing. I will not stop writing. I will not stop learning. Only death can stop me from this ride, and this is one of the few promise I will ever make in my life.

This will all be worth it. It just takes time.

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Posted in Media, Music

Just “Right”: My YT Experience

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I was never comfortable with being in front of a video camera. I’m okay with regular cameras that take photos. But when I am being recorded, I get extra conscious. I get conscious because I feel like when I speak, my mouth doesn’t look “right”. I also feel like my body doesn’t look “right”, or that my actions aren’t “right”.

…What’s with me with looking “right”?

Maybe because I always want to look good, look presentable. But hey, I guess that’s normal. So yeah, I’ve never been comfortable in front of a video camera.

But hey, there has to be a day when I have to conquer my fear of being videotaped, right?

So today, I decided to take my song cover-making to the next level: YOUTUBE.

I did a cover of the song “Say You Won’t Let Go” by James Arthur. And man, I LOVE THE SONG! So I told myself that I should sing it and make it public. If it were a regular day, I’d do an audio recording. But since I wanted to make myself extra happy, I recorded my cover with my laptop’s built-in webcam (and mic). I don’t know why seeing myself (with a little makeup) sing made me happy. I guess it gave me a little validation; validation that I can look good and sound good at the same time.

It wasn’t a perfect cover, but I’m really proud of my work. I hope I get to make more YouTube videos soon. 🙂 MAYBE I CAN DO MUSIC VIDEOS OF MY ORIGINAL SONGS! Hihi. Okey na ako. 

~

I hope you guys continue to visit my SoundCloud page for my audio (only) covers. Also, do subscribe to my YouTube channel.

Click HERE for my cover!

Posted in Music

OPM’s Not Dead

I’m turning 20 in less than two months. Looking back on the highlights of my life, a huge part of my 20 years on earth is music.

In my early years, I was exposed to the music of foreign boy bands and girl groups, courtesy of my cousins from Australia. When they went back to Sydney, I had no means to listen to foreign songs. Then, I was exposed to Original Pinoy Music, better known as OPM. I grew up listening to Spongecola, Hale, Cueshe, Kamikazee, Parokya ni Edgar, MYMP, and many more local music personalities.

I seldom listened to foreign songs, until I started to attend this all-girls school for the moderately elite. Kids in my elementary school did listen to OPM, but they listened to foreign songs more often. I stopped watching a local music channel called Myx when I became very busy with school. It resulted to me to not knowing new OPM songs. Added to this is my exposure to radio stations that only played foreign songs. This continued until I was in high school.

I was still exposed to OPM in my school years, but I didn’t appreciate it that much. I still found foreign songs more appealing, but everything changed when I started watching Myx again when I stopped studying in college. I fell in love with the new OPM artists. Now, my music preference in terms of country of origin is now balanced.

Some say that OPM is dead. I guess they say that because they no longer hear nice OPM songs in the radio. I, for a while, thought the same thing. I was sick of OPM songs that not only sounded the same, but also say the same thing. Not to mention that all I heard back then were ballads. There were some interesting songs, but they didn’t beat the foreign songs I listened to. It was like the quality of local music was slowly decreasing as time passed by. Oh, I forgot to mention that some actors try to sing too. Hey, some of them have great voices, but some of their songs don’t have the appeal to please me. Anyway, there: OPM was kind of dead to me.

When I started to watch Myx again, and when I started going to the UP Fair, I found a new appreciation for OPM. I found new artists with good sense of musicality. I also followed local song writing contests that produced great and catchy songs. Then I started to believe that OPM is not dead. I started to prove to myself that nothing that keeps on growing and evolving is dead. OPM is still evolving and growing. There are many new artists waiting to be discovered, and they are as great as the famous artists now.

I fell in love with OPM once again, and I couldn’t be any happier with what happened. It’s like I was reborn again in music appreciation. Don’t get me wrong, I still like foreign music. But my love for the local music scene is alive again.

OPM was never dead. As long as there are Filipinos who want to make music, OPM will not die.